


To Live in This World

by Rivulet027



Series: Star Wars Femslash [9]
Category: Star Wars (Marvel Comics), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst and Romance, Character Study, Developing Friendships, F/F, Hopeful Ending, Minor Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, POV Cara Dune, Post-Star Wars: A New Hope, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25693654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/pseuds/Rivulet027
Summary: Pre-series Mandalorian, post A New Hope. Cara takes one look at Pash and wants to fight her.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus & Cara Dune, Cara Dune/Pash Davane
Series: Star Wars Femslash [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1970902
Kudos: 8





	To Live in This World

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Written for the femslash ficlets prompt courage. Title is from the Mary Oliver poem 'In Blackwater Woods'.

Cara Dune is self aware enough to realize that one of the reasons she joins the Rebellion is that she’s masking her grief with anger. It’s easier to be angry, to want revenge, then to let herself feel the chasm of grief inside her. She can never go home. She can never spend a lazy day resting on the porch of the house her grandparents built or go out and pick a fruit from the tree her mother planted.

She knows that if she’d been there she’d have died too, but that doesn’t keep the grief and ‘what if’ questions from wrapping tendrils around her. If she lets the rage fester inside her the guilt doesn’t settle heavily in her gut.

She wants to fight everyone, not just make the Imperials pay for what they did to Alderaan. There’s no shortage of sparring partners, but she’s not finding any of them a challenge. She’s beginning to suspect that half the reason the SpecForce trainer is letting her wipe the floor with the new recruits is so that they’ll be receptive to training. She decides she needs to find a challenge.

Then Cara sees _her_. They’re about the same height. The woman’s sleeves are ripped off and Cara doubts the muscles of her arms would comfortably fit in sleeves. She’s got her red hair tied up in a messy ponytail. She’s helping off load the latest cargo shipment. Cara stands transfixed as she watches the sweat roll down the woman’s arms. Cara wets her lips. She needs to fight her.

It’s easy to step in and help unload cargo and then introduce herself.

“Pash Davane,” the woman tells her. “The complaining droid is Bruce.”

“I’m not complaining,” Bruce protests before he reminds them of where AP-5 earmarked these boxes to go.

“We should spar sometime,” Cara suggests.

Pash groans. “I don't want to get nicknamed Bash again, thanks.”

Cara frowns. Now she really needs to fight her. “Bash?”

“She hit a man in the head with a rock,” Bruce explains. “He was trying to steal me for parts.”

Cara considers this for a moment, then offers, “I could teach you how to fight.”

“I know how to fight, if I have too. I’m an engineer,” Pash protests as they find where the boxes are meant to go and set them down. Pash sighs and stretches. Cara reminds herself not to stare. “Maybe let me know when you go to the gym, we could spot each other?”

“Sounds good,” Cara agrees even as she cringes inwardly. Working out with Pash at the gym is going to be torture if she can’t fight her.

“Hey, Sasha!” Pash calls.

Cara takes in the blonde that’s joining them. He’s got a jacket tied around his waist and is wearing a worn greenish shirt. She’s not sure what to think of his mutton chops.

“Did you need something?” he asks.

Cara stills as his clipped accent registers. He sounds like an Imperial. Former Imperial, Cara tells herself. She knows the Rebellion is made up of a lot of defectors. It’s less likely that he’s simply from Coruscant.

“Kallus this is Cara,” Pash introduces. “She’s looking for a sparring partner.”

“You’re decent,” Kallus tells Pash.

Pash rolls her eyes. “I don’t mind helping with demonstrations, but I don’t relish it the way you and Zeb do.”

“I thought she called you Sasha,” Cara cuts in. She’s never met an Imperial with that accent who was actually a decent fighter.

“We’re friends,” he explains. “I’m used to being called by my last name.”

Knocking down a former Imperial might make her feel good Cara tells herself, even if she’d rather be fighting Pash.

“I’m not looking to make friends,” Cara tells him. Pash frowns, but Kallus looks like maybe he understands.

She thinks she’s looking forward to punching that understanding right off his face. She isn’t sure how they amass a crowd so quickly, but as soon as she and Kallus go to spar, there are suddenly people calling encouragement, discouragement, and just cheering. She’s pretty sure she sees some of the Pathfinders placing bets. It takes a few moments of back and forth between them before Cara realizes that he’s accessing her. She’s about to call him on it when someone calls Kallus Fulcrum.

“You were a Fulcrum agent?” She’s not sure why that startles her so much. She was recruited by a Fulcrum agent.

And then Kallus manages to sweep her legs out from under her and she finds herself flat on her back.

“Was,” he answers as he offers a hand up. She grabs onto him and pulls him down and then they’re wrestling. And then somehow he manages to pin her.

Cara’s eyes narrow. “Best two out of three.”

“You could just ask her out,” Kallus advises.

“Still want a fight,” Cara grounds out.

“She doesn’t want to.”

“Yeah, well that takes courage, all I’ve got is rage,” she growls. She’s not exactly sure why she’s even explaining this to him, but then she can tell he understands that too and it unfurls some of the tension she’s been carrying.

He changes tactics. “Beat me and you’d be able to talk my boyfriend into sparring.”

He tilts his chin, she lets her gaze follow to the Lasat he’s indicating. “You’re dating Orrelius? What do I have to do to get a lesson on how to use a bo-rifle?”

It’s gorgeous. She’d settle for just being able to hold the bo-rifle.

“Sadly, the first step would be making a friend.”

Cara laughs. It’s the first time she’s laughed in a long time.

They go four rounds and disappoint everyone by tying, but after she gets to meet Zeb. They set up a time to spar.

She cleans herself up and finds Pash. Somewhere in the middle of her ramble about dinner Pash agrees and Cara finds herself hoping that there might be something of herself left that’s not just rage and grief.


End file.
